(7.16.09)
By Traci Rork
Miss Informed
Don't you? We all know a few people who are a little bit self-absorbed. In fact, the world seems to revolve around plenty of people who fail to see the forest for the trees because they're too busy looking at their own branches. The inability to empathize is a maddening condition that affects everyone on occasion and, sadly, is far from curable.
Pretty much if you are not a thoughtful, caring, reasonable and honest person some of the time, odds are you are an arrogant idiot most of the time and deserve a public lashing. Technically (and legally) we're not allowed to do that, which is a shame because I'd be the first to set up shop with a whipping post. Beating sense into the senseless would surely be a booming business but for now, verbal lashings will have to do.
Now I understand that it is somewhat normal to be a little bit self-absorbed and, admittedly, at times even I can be overly concerned with yours truly. After all, we have to be selfish now and then in order to care for ourselves and our families, but there is a huge difference between self-awareness and self-absorption, and I suggest everyone take a little time to note the difference.
For example, checking a colorful weekly publication thoroughly to see if any photos were published of yourself could be considered as being self-aware. On the other hand, creating a colorful weekly publication to ensure your photo will be published is a tad on the self-absorbed side. I'm just saying ...
When you are self-absorbed, most if not all of your conversations are regarding your accomplishments and you're often caught tooting your own horn. In fact, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you even brag about being an awesome horn-tooter, the newest Prada bag and a black belt in tae kwon do. Generally, conversations rarely stray from topics you choose, and if they do, you shamelessly insert yourself back into the limelight right on cue. True?
Speaking of shame, some of the seriously selfish don't put a lot of time or energy into their appearance, manners or relationships. Why? Simply because they feel they don't have to. They're fantastic enough as it is and those in their presence should be honored they have the privilege. Please. You can often fool a few minions with your confidence, but when your true colors start to show, you ditch the non-believers and move on without a fight; "if you don't think I'm fabulous, someone else surely will," and on goes the cycle of the plagued people who will never learn.
What about the "one-uppers?" And I'm guessing we're all guilty of committing this faux pas once or twice. But seriously people, no one likes a show off, especially if you are a frequent offender. "Oh, your canoe trip sounds lovely, but I just got back from Tibet where I hung out with the Dalai Lama." If you religiously trump other people's stories to the point of being predictable, take notice ... because others definitely are.
And I think it's safe to say that we've all encountered plenty of individuals who haven't lost an argument in their entire life, or at least in their own huge heads. But let me tell you, just because you're righteous doesn't make you right and similarly, just because you have a few accomplishments under your belt doesn't make you accomplished.
I'll admit that I've gotten carried away while chatting about my joys and sorrows and failed to ask others about theirs. But I quickly take notice and remedy the situation and certainly try not to make a habit out of it. We have friends in order to share our triumphs, vent to when angry, and lean on when sad ... and we are expected to reciprocate. There doesn't need to be a running tally of who owes whom a favor, but if you're only calling your "friends" when you need someone to help you move, it's no secret and it's not very endearing.
Neither is constantly reminding anyone who will listen how amazing you are, what hobbies you enjoy and how you like your coffee. Bring a little more to the table. Inquire about what's going on in the lives of others and kindly pay attention to what you can offer the world and those around you.
There are those who have accumulated and, most importantly, nurtured their friendships over a lifetime, and those who juggle acquaintances when circumstances are pleasant or profitable for them. It's never too late to profit from being pleasant to people, because no matter how good you are at juggling, even you will drop the ball from time to time.
And for those of you who have "You're so vain" stuck in your head, you're welcome, and don't worry, I wasn't talking about you ...
To further inform Miss Informed, e-mail Trork@ keysnews.com, and to catch up on previous ramblings, visit tracirork.blogspot.com.
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