Can it Grandma!

11.26.10

MISS INFORMED
BY TRACI

I just so happen to be smitten with my Grandma Jeanne who was tickled pink when I told her that I was working on putting her recipes together in a cookbook called Can it Grandma.

This wonderful woman cans salsa, jalapeno jelly, pepper slaw, pickles, relish. … and over the years she has made countless meals for  her grateful family and friends. Somewhere along the way she found the time to type and distribute a few of her favorite recipes, and I'm here to fact check and pass on the knowledge to you! For instance, it turns out  that 23 cups of mayonnaise actually means 2/3 cup....sometimes Grandma drinks).

Needless to say, our Key West house has been significantly more crowded since I began my mission with easy stew (very good, and yes, easy), macaroni salad, and apple crisp. But lately, the book has taken a back seat to canning, as bees suddenly decided to start living in our walls. This unexpected sticky situation wasn't exactly convenient......however, now we have some of the sweetest honey in existence and have been very busy canning this liquid gold.

Not only does canning make you feel self sufficient, but also closer and prouder of those that paved the way to who you are today. My grandma grew a lot of her own food, getting rid of the bugs and weeds in preparation for pleasing the palates of those she loves with home-grown goodness.

Year after year her house is overrun with tomatoes (a couple tons of tomatoes, actually... I've seen it, had to sleep with it, and still can't explain the fear). But in the end and with a little help from family, friends and uncle Butch's Budweisers, the chaos is crushed neatly into quarts which are then signed, sealed and delivered. What a concept!

Looking back, I'm grateful I was allowed to be a part of the process, although I certainly wasn't much help at the time (especially if bugs were around). Little did I know that my country bumpkin butt would end up canning crap on an island in the Caribbean. Let alone honey!!! Isn't life funny?

After this endeavor, I now also understand my Grandma's fondness for wine…this is hard work people, and clean up is the hardest part. Especially when your vacuum cleaner is filled with dead bee carcasses and everything you touch is sticky.

At least I've been too busy to be homesick...for the most part. I know exactly what I'm missing as Thanksgiving at Grandma's goes a little something like this: She leaps out of her recliner (on the rare occasion you catch her resting), scootches to the kitchen, and in a happy hurry she assembles her supplies and bosses people around. Saying mostly, "Traci, shut the ice box" and, "Colin, quit eating the bacon".

Then it's my Mom's turn to get scolded for drinking Butch's beer before we finally feast. The late Uncle Joe (grandma's twin brother) will still be affectionately mentioned as my brother will reenact his infamous mashed potato volcano. All of our plates piled high with gluttony and gratitude for damn good, home-cooked food. So, it's safe to say that I love my family more than I should, which I think is the perfect amount.

And we all know that with love comes torture, which is why I always have to tease Grandma about her love for John Wayne, slot machines and her peculiar pronunciation of certain words (such as peculiar and chiropractor, especially after a glass or two of wine). She also has this thing with calling lunch "dinner", and I'm not going to lie, it used to freak me out as a kid because if we were having dinner already.....I somehow got shafted out of lunch. What the?

But I soon found out that dinner was delicious and just when you start to get hungry again, grandma swoops in and "supper's ready"!