If you can pay your bills, you're not too broke to pay attention


(7.23.09)

Are you a happy camper? Let's just say, for the most part, is your existence relatively unscathed by the touch of tragedy and devastation? Now, we all have our problems and wish things could be better at times, but are you in a place in your life that could be much, much worse?

Good -- I'm genuinely happy that you're happy and now I have a little job for you. If you're happy and you know it -- help a friend.

First of all, it's your civic duty. Secondly, it's rewarding in more ways than one and finally, it's in the best interest of the greater good. We've all heard of random acts of kindness, right? While I'm sure all kinds of kindness are appreciated, I don't think our kindness needs to be necessarily random. In fact, I think it's pretty important that we handpick the objects of our affection because, well, it's plain and simple, some need it a little more than others.

Can't you think of at least one friend or relative whose happy flag is barely flying at half mast? Someone who doesn't complain but has a lot of ammunition if they ever wanted to start? Perhaps someone older who doesn't get out much and would beam for hours if you just picked up the phone to say hello?

Odds are that right now someone you can help is dealing with something horrible -- a health scare, a breakup, bankruptcy or death. Pay attention so that you avoid neglecting those who nurtured you, and make a conscious effort to make someone else's day.

Now, I'm not expecting you to change the world for everybody -- just change the day for somebody and then do it again tomorrow and the next day.

Currently, I'm doing my part by counseling quite a few ladies devastated by recent developments in the relationship department. How am I qualified for such a position you may ask? The answer is simple ... I was appointed. Much like alcoholics choose a sponsor, a couple of my friends who are going through breakups have chosen me as a crutch. That entails early morning coffee talks, late night wine chats, tears, advice, laughter and time -- the most important element.

I call it boot camp for break-ups and it seems to be working. Generally people complain about how there aren't enough hours in the day. That is of course not the case when you happen to be extremely sad and are trying not to call or think about a certain someone. Which is why it is extremely important to have a breakup buddy who's thick-skinned enough to not only listen to the same open-ended questions and wonderment of "what went wrong"? they're also there to answer with "he went wrong, that's what happened."

Then it's all about keeping those teetering on the edge of depression busy, happy and hydrated. What's the best way to cheer someone up and usually the first idea anyone suggests when they want to be of help? Cocktails and company! There's just nothing like slipping into something a little more comfortable and getting down to the core of the issue with friends. Then comes the laughter -- which is of course the best medicine.

Case in point. Everyone knows what beer goggles are, right? They are certainly not an accessory you want to be notorious for sporting and should be reserved for very few special occasions if any. The same goes for booze shoes -- a term that was coined the other night after an embarrassing footwear fiasco.

In her haste to hurry and help a friend, someone in the group, and I won't name any names, threw on two different shoes -- one red and one black -- and didn't even notice. Granted it was dark in her apartment, she was rushing around after a glass or three of wine, and the shoes she picked were somewhat similar.

OK, let's just say that I thought I was wearing my Kino sandals, but it turns out I was kickin' my Ki -- oh -- no's!

Thankfully, I got by with a little help from my friends, who kindly pointed out my tipsy toes before I'd paraded them all around town. We had a few good laughs and somehow I convinced everyone else to swap a shoe so we all looked equally idiotic -- good times.

All I'm saying is that it's fairly easy to pick up the phone, send a card or grab a cup of coffee and offer your time to someone. Take a moment to fill your karma banks, share your sunshine and graciously give when you're able, and receive when you're not.

Everyday your presence is a gift you are able to offer the world -- make sure you're only sharing yourself with worthy recipients.

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