By Traci Rork Paradise Staff
(8.6.09)
Now before the cops start breaking down my door I should probably clarify a few things. I didn't rob a bank, beat anyone up or illegally trap lobster. Believe it or not, I was actually trying to make the world a better place by improving the planet's fiscal woes when I committed this questionable deed.
It just so happened that immediately after the alleged and purely innocent act, I couldn't help but gasp and google my way through the Internet to find out if I had indeed just broken the law and defaced a dollar bill.
For the record, I didn't scribble on George Washington's face or write "for a good time call ..." it was much more mature and necessary than that. You see, a while ago I stumbled upon a dollar bill that said "Anyone who receives this will be blessed with a lot of money."
Perfect! It was like an unexpected fortune cookie had just landed in my wallet telling me what I wanted and needed to hear. So I did what anyone else would do and tucked it away waiting for the magic to happen. Well, I'm still waiting, so when I stumbled upon my "lucky" buck the other day, I paid more attention to detail.
It also said, "write this on 10 other bills -- it works." I told myself, "hello -- no wonder you haven't been blessed in the bank yet ... You haven't fulfilled your end of the deal."
Now I know what you're thinking. Nice job idiot! We've all gotten threatening chain letters and e-mails that pester us into pestering 10 others so as not to disrupt our karma. We've ignored and erased them and lived to tell about it with no tragedies directly related to how we handled those pushy suggestions.
But desperate times call for desperate measures, so forgive me for wanting to spread a little hope and sunshine into a financially bleak world (and for selfishly yearning to somehow win the lottery without ever buying a ticket).
Times are tough, so much so, that I could only scrounge up two measly dollars to write the mantra on and possibly secure my fate and fortune. Go figure, and to top it off, had I just committed a felony punishable by up to six months in jail?
After extensive research I'm happy to inform you that I'm not currently a fugitive. Apparently, it's not illegal to write on your money per say ... you're just not supposed to mutilate, cut, glue together or burn your dough (according to title 18, section 333 of the United States Code). Basically, if you can still read and spend the money, you're pretty much OK.
Well that's a good thing for everyone who has stapled a dollar bill with their name on it at various bars and restaurants across the country. There are even a couple places in the Keys were you can find a dizzying array of cash that overlaps, dangles and sheds light on the people who once possessed -- and ultimately ended the ongoing journey of -- a dollar bill.
Money travels far and wide, housed in the pockets of plenty of people from all walks of life. The average life of a $1 bill in circulation is 21 months before it is replaced due to wear, according to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. Think about how many places a dollar can go in nearly a year. How many people it can link together every second and the millions of possibilities of profound contradiction it provides daily.
How many church donation baskets are filled with money once used to gamble or buy drugs? And by the way, how many school lunches or cups of coffee are bought with dollars that were once tucked in a stripper's thong? The list goes on.
You see, passing these notes from person to person has become such a practiced part of our lives that we don't even pay much attention to what we hold in our hands. We don't really take the time to visualize all of the people who have also touched that same piece of paper and carried it through a part of their life.
If they could talk, those little, green, rectangular pieces of paper we see, touch and smell everyday -- would have quite the story to tell ... And some already do. I'm not trying to start a defacing movement here or anything, I'm just saying ... what a limitless way to send a message.
So, to ensure that your day won't be cloaked in chaos and tainted with tragedy, quickly distribute 10 $1 bills that say "Miss Informed is my favorite columnist and definitely deserves a raise."
To further inform Miss Informed, e-mail trork@keys news.com and to catch some of her previous ramblings, go to tracirork.blogspot.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment