Nice can only get you so far . . . Spice can take you the rest of the way.


By Traci Rork
Miss Informed

(6.4.09)

According to the movie Bambi and skunk named Thumper, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

(Cue the cricket sounds).

Too bad if we all followed that advice, we’d be living in a pretty silent world and Miss Informed’s column would end right here. That is not because we are mean-spirited people, but rather because it’s unavoidable and healthy to let your feelings out and purge yourself from frustration whenever possible.

A few people in history have also used the phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me!” I certainly appreciate this quote better and have found it far more fitting and realistic.

There are generally two types of emotions that prompt a person to go off on a tangent: Anger and happiness. Think about it, every day when you interact with people they’re either polite and short - offering normal and generic greetings… or they can’t tell you enough about their upcoming wedding/divorce. We are more likely to share our feelings and situations with others when they reach the extreme ends of the spectrum. The most entertaining stories include the best of times or the worst of times. and truth be told, I personally think that the worst of times holds an audience better.

In the past, when I’ve used this space as a venting vault, the words seemed to fly onto the page as I effortlessly reached the desired word count before I felt like I’d even made a dent in the topic. Go figure. Thoughts just flow like a stream when you’re blowing off steam…

Case in point: The Citizen’s Voice. A voicemail box where one can vent anonymously and as often and freely as they’d like. And trust me, there’s never been a shortage of material for that column and editors never have a problem filling that space. Be it the roosters or people failing to pick up their dog’s crap, when we are pissed is when we’re most likely to speak up.

It’s just so easy to go on and on about a bad day where you stepped in gum, your bike got stolen and you found out that Damn Good Foods was going to be closed for a bit. Wa wa wa … we are surrounded by Debbie Downers daily and eventually, we all morph into her on occasion. I’m here to tell you - that’s okay.

I saw a bumper stick once that said “Women don’t burp, fart or poop, therefore they must bitch or they’d explode.”

Our complaints, and those coming from the men as well, are expected and welcomed by others who likely have a few things they’d like to get off their chest. It usually isn’t hard to find a companion to scratch an itch with, especially in this town where like-minded people are generally miffed about the same topics.

On the other hand, I’m a Libra, which means I would love nothing more than to appease everyone and keep everything on an even keel. While of course this is an unrealistic goal, it is even more far-fetched now that my aptly named column “Miss Informed” debuted and I’ve been allowed to ramble on about whatever.

Every week it’s guaranteed that I will prompt a reader to become a writer and make me fully aware of my Miss Takes and Miss Prints. Thankfully, for my sanity and entertainment, plenty of people write in to agree with me and tell their own stories, which are extremely appreciated and often hilarious.

In a small town such as Key West, it is important that we try our best not to step on anyone’s toes and avoid weaving any tangled webs. However, it is also important that we exercise our sense of humor and offer our opinions, whatever they may be . . . and I’m not going to lie, I’ve found that if you’re not Miss Behaving too badly, you can get away with some Miss Chief every once and awhile.

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort,” - Herm Albright.

To further inform Miss Informed, e-mail trork@keysnews.com.

Editor’s note: The resort mentioned in last week’s column does offer locals VIP treatment and access to the pools and spas if they purchase an exclusive lifetime membership. There is a one time initiation fee of $5,500 with a monthly rate of $250. From July 5 through September, all interested locals and a friend are invited to come in for a free day pass and legitimately take advantage of the hotel’s amenities. For more information, call 305.293.6201 or email thebeachclub@luxuryresorts.com.

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