Spilt milk can lead to mopped floors -- How chaos turns into cleaning

(9.17.09)

By Traci Rork
Miss Informed

I'm a self-proclaimed hazard to the household and destroyer of the peace. I'm definitely not a stranger to the sound of breaking glass and while it's a horrible way to live, I've come to accept the fact that I make messes -- many and often. That's just what I do.

Sometimes these little mishaps are immediately comical, other times they're funny after the fact, but mostly they're annoying and always taking place at the worst possible moments. Not that breaking or spilling things is ever a welcomed occurrence, it's just that when life is already complicated, every added complication sends you one step closer to the edge.

You spill on your shirt just as you're leaving the house when you're already running late. The oven shorts out right as dinner is prepped and ready to go in, or you drop your purse full of electronics into the pool. You most likely already had a full agenda of things you needed to accomplish before these setbacks, but that hardly matters to the complication fairy who swoops right in and forces you to slow down and deal with some drama.

If you feel like you've heard me talk about this before, you're correct, and odds are this won't be the last time I voice my frustration on the subject. Whether it's clothes, sunglasses, cameras, my mind or cold, hard cash ... Something I need always seems to wander off, break or implode right at a crucial moment.

As the days go by and I have had to say goodbye to countless belongings, I can't help but think there has to be a silver lining to this curse of mine. While I'm left scouring drawers and hunting under beds looking for items I've lost, I've got to believe, for my own sanity, that there's a reason . . .

And I think I've finally got it! Even if you don't find what you're looking for during these scavenger hunts -- hopefully after your search you'll be prompted to leave behind a tidier junk drawer and gather and destroy a few of the resident dust bunnies that have made a life under your bed.

This, my friends, is how chaos leads to cleaning.

The same thing goes for spills. You most likely already needed to mop the floor and have been saying so for days, but there's nothing like a bottle of red wine crashing off the fridge and dousing the kitchen to make the chore an immediate priority. And while you're at it, wipe the cabinets down, clean the microwave, do the dishes and clean out the fridge. Phew -- thank you complication fairy -- I needed a little boost.

And haven't we all let our desks go and get a little messy at work? I've heard myself and others proclaim "I need to get my life in order" and I'm almost positive that I've found the solution. Spill your coffee, tea or juice of preference all over your desk. You're forced to throw away unnecessary papers, dust off the surrounding area and quickly conquer the cleaning that comes with disaster relief.

Speaking of which, we all know that Hurricane Wilma was no cup of tea and at the very least, she complicated quite a few lives as the island was lashed by the ocean. But how many people had been collecting junk and accumulating unnecessary knick-knacks until Wilma forced them to do a little house cleaning? How many bars needed a good power washing? The silver lining is that sometimes the world brings us face to face with the very things that we are neglecting.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, we are never going to have everything under control. There will always be weeds in the garden, trash to take out or a squeaky bike begging for our attention, and everyday we pick and choose which chores we're going to deal with and which ones to ignore. Sometimes we choose wisely, and other times we have no choice in the matter whatsoever.

So don't curse the complication fairy when you wake up to find that your wallet is missing and you can't find your keys. Thank her for forcing you to go to the hardware store where you need countless items anyway, and for finally giving you an excuse to replace your horrendous driver's license photo. It's the little things, people -- find them and celebrate.

To further inform Miss Informed, e-mail trork@ keysnews.com and to catch up on past ramblings, go to tracirork.blogspot.com.

I may not have change for a $20, but I know of 20 things that are about to change

(9.3.09)

By Traci Rork
Miss Informed

It's no secret that life in general is never -- ever -- going to be "in order."

Change however, is always going to be in constant order, and is even harder to shake than Aretha Franklin's catchy tune "Change, change, change."

OK people, I'm fully aware that these are not the actual lyrics to her song "Chain of Fools," but ironically, I changed the words way back when and couldn't resist getting them stuck in your head at such an appropriate time.

Robert C. Gallagher said it best when he proclaimed that "Change is inevitable -- except from a vending machine."

Right when you think that life or certain situations are going to start simmering down and falling into place, You find out that you're oh, so wrong.

That's when we're all visited by the complication fairy, who messes with our lives in a way so twisted it's dizzying. Haven't you noticed that as soon as you wash your sheets, the cat pukes on your bed, that birds do serious damage to a freshly washed car and dogs know just which shoes to chew? Or right when you feel like your business is booming and your problems are so close to being solved, the whole place burns down leaving you penniless and dumbfounded? Well, "Change, change, change"... because you have no choice.

Every single second, people are changing their clothes, minds, jobs, hobbies, locations, friends, diapers, spouses, and some even change their spouse's diapers. Some changes are welcomed and wanted while others are dreaded and devastating, but they are the common denominator among us all.

Whenever you ask someone "what's new with you?" and they say, "oh, not much," -- don't believe them. Something's changed but everyone's not always up for discussing their life, especially if it's as complicated as things can often get.

And just so you know, generally the good, bad, happy and sad changes collide and bombard our lives simultaneously as part of what I like to call, "The change gang."

You've heard people say "Can anything else go wrong?" Or, "If it isn't one thing, it's five more." I've often heard people say that after their lives have been switched, changed and rearranged.

Truth be told, we can certainly handle a whole lot more than we ever imagined possible, and have to find out the hard way. But it's proof that we are still alive and it's a daily dare not only to go with the flow, but to frolic in the flow. To make the best of the worst and to help anyone you can to do the very same.

There always will be unchecked items on your To Do list, and hopefully there always will be a tomorrow for you to pick up where you left off. Just make sure that you take a little time to notice where you are at any given moment, count your blessings and spend time with those who are important to you, before things get hectic again -- which they always tend to do.

And remember, just when life seems peachy and brag-worthy and all of your ducks seem to be waddling together in a perfect row, watch out! That's when the tide shifts, your peaches rot and your ducks start wandering off along with your sanity.

But fear not, change isn't always a horrendous hustler. It's a fickle and often friendly enemy that can pay you a visit after every emotion has been exhausted and your very existence has been challenged. That's because many people turn to their faith, families, friends and strangers after tragedy strikes.

Which could very well be the entire point of tragedy to begin with.

Many people are currently juggling house guests, bankruptcy, car problems, plumbing issues, family feuds, arrests and death ... So all of these "change, change, changes" are a big part of life. We live through these times, we change because of them, and then we keep on waiting to change some more.

To further inform Miss Informed, please e-mail trork@keysnews.com, and to catch up on previous ramblings, visit tracirork.blogspot.com.