Miss Informed
By Traci Rork
(6.25.09)
On this island, you can’t escape the ex-factor. Everyone you know at one time or another dated someone else you known and there are tangled webs everywhere you look. Even more so in the summer.
Admit it. Everyone has an ex who dated someone they know or disapprove of. Sometimes unfortunately, this occurs while they are still dating you, and this often goes down in the summer. Whether it is a best friend, acquaintance, co-worker or sister - It seems that people in this town change partners more than square dancers, and everyone gets caught in the chaos at some point in time. So be grateful if this isn’t your year in the sordid spotlight, but be prepared to help someone who is - it is June after all, and July generally isn’t any better.
Think about it. Those of us who have lived in Key West for awhile can attest to the fact that this island is incredibly small. Everyone’s business quickly becomes everyone else’s business - and even more so in the summer. That’s when the Africa heat along with the constant threat of hurricanes keep the tourists at bay.
While there might be thousands of eligible bachelors/bachelorettes out there who don’t come with obvious baggage, plenty of people are going to do what they want to do regardless of the fallout, or any warnings they’ve been offered. They choose the spotlight.
This predictable phenomenon is nothing new (here or anywhere else in the world) and has been referred to as the “sister season” by many old-timers. This is a sultry season where conflicts of interest arise, summertime scandals come alive and friendships often falter because of inappropriate liaisons - sometimes even between sister. Now don’t get me wrong, the trauma of drama rears its’ ugly head year round in plenty of relationships - but I must say that summertime is just a little bit hotter in the tropics.
As we speak, porches around town are overflowing with cocktails and conversation about the budding romances and questionable relationships that are taking place, some way more drastic than others. Right now, plenty of people are discussing what’s politically correct, what’s socially acceptable, and ultimately who is in the wrong…for now. Before you start writing in to say you’re better than that and have more important things to talk about…congratulations….you’re probably a liar and have very boring dinner parties.
Now Key West is a lot like high school, only more equivalent to a college campus both in size and population. After a few years on the island, things start to get a little too familiar. Assuming you’re paying attention, which you’re pretty much forced to do, you can quickly find six degrees of separation (or usually less) between anyone and easily connect the dots between just about everyone you know. Gross!
Just like the tabloids where they list every flame Hollywood stars have dated since the beginning of time. They live in a fishbowl and everyone is kept up to date with their current situations, as well as past endeavors, much like the Key West community. It doesn’t take much to be instantly briefed on the relationship rundown of anyone on the island . . . Just ask. Someone will immediately catch you up - whether they know what they’re talking about or not.
As the Conch Crawls….and as time goes by, the old scandals become disposable as the new ones quickly start taking their place. It’s amazing how interested and involved a community can become and how very necessary friends can be, when one is faced with adversary.
Sometimes it’s harder to get rid of the wrong one than it is to find the right one. I can’t tell you how many deserving, amazing and intelligent women have been stuck with a schmuck for WAY too long. That is until “Dump the Chump” support groups are resurrected and the troops swoop in with champagne to help with the healing. It often takes a village to get rid of the idiot.
We’ve all rolled our eyes when a predictable friend gives the “I’m never talking to him again, this time it’s so over,” speech. Only to find her walking hand in hand days later with Shady McShaderson after hours of careful evaluation proved that he has no redeeming qualities and somewhat of a lisp. . . Help her!
There are a million different Web sites such as E Harmony and Match.com which are designed to put together a compatible couple and give them a happily ever after. Too bad there are probably more people in the world dealing with breakups instead, which coincidentally require just as much of a commitment (if not more) than the relationship themselves. But until someone invents break-up boot camp and dating for dummies, we’re stuck listening to the advise of friends who love us . . . And go figure . . . some even have firsthand knowledge on the subject.
To further inform Miss Informed, e-mail trork@keysnews.com.
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